Archive for September, 2011

“Sorry, Just Being a…” New Original Posters & An Employee Rant

Posted in Guest Posts, Poster of the Week, What's New with tags , , , , , , , , on September 15, 2011 by posterhero

Sorry Just Being A Dick

Sometimes being brutally honest and (or) satirical in your interactions with people gets you labeled.  We here at PosterHero.com know the feeling all to well.  So we decided “Why not just let everyone know up front what the deal is?”.  So we created our own new line of Sorry Just Being A … posters.  Now anyone who dares to walk into the room will know what they are in for.

Case in point:  One of our “interesting ” employees, Collin, decided to write us a little anecdote about his day that we feel properly reflects the brutal honesty that inspired us to create these posters.

This is what he had to say:

“While driving down I-295 and Route 1 today I had an epiphany; I am the best driver on the east coast. I pondered this notion all day and now, here at the end of it, I have come to the conclusion that this is truth. I have also spent a better part of the day – all while putting together frames and doing other sundry tasks – coming to the conclusion that I am the single greatest person to walk this earth. Why is that?

5 reasons:

1) Women want me, men want to be me. I know this because women talk to me. Obviously if they talk to me they must want me. Hence it must follow that men want to be me. I don’t blame them.

2) I am more interesting than any of those other jerks you know. Why is that? It’s due to my ability to tell the best bits of my life in no more than two hours, and the fact I weave exaggerated stories until they’re better than the one that you just told. Man I’m good.

3) I am clever, smart and wise. A fortune cookie told me that – a fortune cookie I got for free, I might add, from this really mysterious looking old guy when I picked up the General Tso’s chicken I had for dinner the other night. How did he know that, A) I loved cookies, B) I was the man that fortune was meant for?

4) I tell funny jokes. How do I know this? Because I know I deliver them better than the comedians I got them from. People who don’t watch stand up comedy tell me I’m really funny all the time, and I know they appreciate how creative I am.

5) I think that if I could compare myself to any major figure in history, I’d say I was like Hugh Hefner meets Jesus.

Next time you’re on I-295 or Route 1 during morning rush hour and you see a white Mazda protege coming up behind you, get the hell out-of-the-way. That guy’s me and [I just took my asshole pill], meaning I will honk at and flash you with high beams until you get into the other lane and let me tailgate the guy you were just tailgating.”

Wow, great stuff Collin.  Genghis Khan just called and said “…and people called Me a dick!”

Anyway, check out our complete selection here.  Buy one for yourself or for the “eccentric” person in your life.

Collin Russert

Collin, PosterHero Employee & Dick